Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
