I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
