Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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