can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
