from now on my penis is your penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
