): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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