I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
