I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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