I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
