I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
