I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
