the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
