So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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