Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
