she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
