party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
