I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
