no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
