just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
