I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
