he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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