Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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