My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
