Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I think my vagina is haunted
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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