I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
