shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
