do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
