Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
