It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
time to smoke my breakfast
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
