Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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