i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
