Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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