OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
