M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
