the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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