Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
