btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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