Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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