her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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