i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
