I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
