Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
