im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
