i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
