I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
