she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
