is your mom at the bar?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
