How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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