There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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