census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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