we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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