No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
