Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
