I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
