I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
