Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
